What to say ?
I remember I have a lot of things to write down before I start to write down. Now, I have no clue where to start writing and what to write.
First of all, I was pretty sick. Okay, I am exaggerating. Not pretty bad. However, it’s worse than I expected. Even, unexpected.
Long story short, I had a surgery, minor one, on Piles. I’ve been suffering for years and only awhile ago, I went to the clinic and met the doctor.
I had no choice but to go for the surgery. All my years of ignorance and recklessness served me well.
The surgery was not bad and hospitalisation only took a few days.
I’ve learned what is “soft diet” as I was not allowed to eat any hard food for a few days because of the surgery.
What’s really bad came after I was discharged from the hospital. I could not make a bowel movement. I was instructed to take different kind of constipation medicines in different forms. I took all of them and still could not make any bowel movement. So, I had to go to the clinic again and did the bowel induction. This pattern repeats for two times and I feel totally worn out.
I have never felt one moment in my life that my health would be that bad and important part of me. At that moment (and till now), all I ever wish for it a good health. I believe I lost some weight noticeably. It is frightening to see myself in photos taken by others. “I am that skinny?!”
So, as expected, I could not work well because of my health situation. Yet, the workload tends to go the other direction. I am now doing two work. Both neither stressful, very mentally challenging. In fact, interesting and well paid. And I want to give my best to both. I am trying but my health limits my capability.
Right now, at this moment, I am feeling a lot better. Almost back to normal, I would say.
I have finally handed over my GDG Manager role to someone else. I am glad that I did. I am still involving with preparing the events and so on. I intend to disappear eventually. I really should. My time is over. ?
I happen to read a lot. To be honest, I couldn’t read as much as I want when I was sick. I thought I could but in fact, I could not even sleep comfortably when I was sick. So, how do I find time to read ? Well, I happen to have some paperback books and found some break time (in weeks) from work. Thank God and my boss.
And I like Murakami stuffs. Like my favourite authors Juu, Taryar Min Wai, Takatho Phone Naing, Theit Pan Maung Wa, I like all of his books I’ve read so far. His writing (and translations) and (mind-blowing crazy) imaginations is phenomenal. I notice myself that my view on some particular things have been changed as I read his books. I definitely have to re-read the notes I’ve taken from his books. I like them so much. I got to collect his books.
I am not learning anything much. No progress. None. Absolutely none. That’s depressing. I know that and I can’t help but being depressed.
I know I really have more to say but I don’t know what to say or I feel I should not say and keep it in the darkest corner in me.
“The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed; The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed.”
― Charlotte Brontë
The weather’s been bad. I really can’t wait for the rain to stop and start to travel again. If I ever learn anything, it would be “Just fucking do it and stop waiting for others.”. It sounds funny but it is bloody true, to me, at least.
Anyway, nobody is going to read this crap. I could write down whatever I want, right ?